First Doctor Appointment

So tomorrow is the big day! We meet the highly respected and recommended Dr. Werlin. So many emotions are running through my mind. Excitement, anxiousness, and of course scared for what might lie ahead. But I am keeping things in prospective and taking it one step at a time. Our last infertility Doctor was also great but I never really felt comfortable with him and he never really explained much to us so I have prayed that if Dr. Werlin is the right one I will feel a peace about him when I meet him tomorrow. I can't believe we are actually doing this again. It is so difficult and consuming in EVERY way. It feels different this time though I can actually see my future and it has a baby this time. It is sort of ironic that the very thing I would struggle with in life happens to be my carreer. I scanned a girl last night and she was very pregnant and it just so happens that I scanned her at a weak moment when I realized that the previous nightmare of being surrounded by pregnant women is once again occurring. Don't get me wrong I am very happy for each and every women that gets to have the expereince of carrying a child it just constantly reminds me of what I can't have and what I would do to have something that just comes natural to most couples. I know that the day will come when I will be able to hold something that Mario and I have created because GOD IS GREAT and he won't let me down on this. Like they say when one life ends another is born and we have dealt with some precious lost lives this year and life is coming!!! I feel so blessed to have Mario as my partner through this, he is awesome and we are so connected from all of this that others will never understand what we have together. He made me a courage playlist that I am going to listen to through my blood tests and it really means a lot to me to have him make something so small but yet so special. He put our wedding song on it and it is ironic that they have a new remix of it that is based on motherhood.

One of my best friends sent me this website in thoughts that it would help heal our pain. This was the most beautiful right on movie clip. I felt like I had made this video. I had to add this link to our blog. http://www.tearsandhope.com/ watch the movie clip