So here I am again sitting at work starting a new day. Yesterday was a pretty interesting day. On Sunday I went to the most amazing baby shower. Now normally you wouldn't hear those two words in the same sentence from me but I really enjoyed myself. A few years ago I avoided baby showers and birthday parties at all costs! They induced major anxiety which lasted days after the event. I always felt so terrible not wanting to be a part of my friends special events but as I read in a book everybody else goes to these events and then goes on about their lives; whereas I would go into a depression for days that would affect me terribly. It was a constsant reminder that all my firends were going about their perfect little lives and I was experiencing major road blocks in my own. So I learned to protect myself. So Sunday when this baby shower came up I was amazed that I was excited to go and celebrate and had a great time! This makes me so happy because I know this time around I am in a much better place emotionally. Don't get me wrong I have many moments when I am sad and sorry for myself but I try to stay positive and look at it as a life journey that is going to make me stronger. I just hope I am still this way after I am being pumped with hormones everyday :)
So after leaving the baby shower Mario and I were talking and i just expressed that it is so hard to be alone in this. I haven't met anyone that has gone through this and I just want to know that it is going to be OK. Well I got to work yesterday and no joke 4 out of 8 patients had all experienced in vitro. Now I have been doing ultrasound for 8 years and you would think that I would come across infertility patients more often. I can't even remember the last time I had a patient with it. So to have half my patients in one day was definitley God answering my fears from the day before. The last patient of the day was exactly my age and pregnant with triplets! She was very reserved and didn't normally like to discuss it but her and her husband opened up to me. It made me feel good because she got pregnant the first try and she really didn't want triplets but felt blessed and was dealing with it. Her doctor was not impressed with egg quality after she retrieved them and highly suggested putting three embyros in to give her a better shot at one taking. The couple only wanted two put in but trusted their doctor and were told they had a 1% chance of having triplets. Well here they are! The best news is that they all took on the first try. I rarely hear about in vitro working on the first shot. Mario and I have discussed the multiple birth thing and will be happy with whatever we get obviously. We are apprehensive about the triplet thing because first we cannot afford it and second it is a huge risk for the babies! But GOd won't give us more than we can handle and we trust him. And if you are reading this someday and are my children from a triplet birth know that we love you and wouldn't trade anything in the world for the experience. You were all wanted!!!! At the beginning of this I prayed really hard and spoke with God about giving me signs and making this really difficult journey peaceful for us in some way. He continues to show me he is listening and it feels incredible when you get such big signs as he has given us which is what I asked for.
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