Stimulation Phase

It is Sunday morning and the day after Valentine's Day. Mario and I had very chill Valentine's. We went out for lunch and then to the movies at night. I am on day 3 of stimulation phase which is the phase where the most side effects occur for most people anyways. My ovaries are now being stimulated to mature as many eggs as the possibly can in the next week. The doctor says by mid week I should feel bloated and heavy. Emotions probably will be unstable also. I already had my first breakdown on friday. We went to the doctor and then breakfast. My bloodwork was really painful for some reason and I was scared to start stimulation so I was already emotional. Then I look over at the table next to us and see a pregnant girl and just lose it. I could barely finish my breakfast and tried to stop thinking about it. It was really weird because I see pregnant people all the time but for some reason at that particular time it didn't sit right with me. That same night Dr. Werlin called and said my re-check of hormones was normal and the prolactin that came back high previously was normal this time. So I said a prayer and was thankful that I am normal and that all this will be successful!!! I need God more than anything now and it's hard because you can't talk with him you have to just trust. But he definitly was speaking to me yesterday and showed me many signs that continue to prove that he will not leave my side. I can't begin to express what this whole process does to one's mind and soul. It is not for the weak let me tell you. It is one big gamble and lots of needles and appointments. I give myself two shots a day now and have bloodwork everytime I go to the doctor. We are about 9 or 10 days away from egg retrieval which is crazy. I am constantly absorbed in my courage playlist and get such inspiration from it! Mario surpised me with Rascal Flatts concert tickets for March 14 the day before my 32 Bday! I am scheduled to be on bedrest until about March 11 so we pray that I am able to go to the concert. I have seen so many country stars in concert but never my favorite of all time Rascal Flatts. I am truly their biggest fan and listen to their music over and over again and am so inspired by their lyrics. I know that no matter if I am pregnant or not at their concert that I will cry the entire time because their music is just that great and helps me to live my life to the fullest and cherish the people in it. My husband is the BEST!!!! So tomorrow which I hate Mondays I have to get up extremely early to go to the Dr. and then off to my 12 hour shift. I am not looking forward to it but oh well. I go about my week in anticipation of what stimulation is going to feel like and realize it is all downhill from here. I pray that God blesses my ovaries with lots of mature eggs that will successfully be fertilized by Mario's sperm.