"Change"

On this very hopeful day of inauguration of President Obama, I can't help but be inspired with the rest of the country that Change is coming! And although I did not vote for Obama and am still a bit questionable on his intentions I am going to back him up and give him the benefit of the doubt as our President 100%. I have to admit I admire those he has picked for his team and cabinet members and also having had Rick Warren as the minister today I feel pleased and somewhat at ease. Today is about hope and change and I can't help but feel that it is speaking to me at a very personal level! If you truly know me then you know I am very passionate about everything I put forth in life from shoes to carreer. I concentrate very much so on tasks at hand and controlling things that occur in my life. Well the In Vitro journey is not any different. I have been so focused and constantly thinking about the journey and my fears and hopes that it is difficult to focus on anything else. Mario tells me this is normal because I have so many appoints. and things ahead that are unknown to me. But it has become difficult to go about my normal life routine. So today I am giving it up to God and asking him to clear my head and replace it with peace and hope! I know those thoughts will creep back in but i am really going to fight it and try to give it up to God. So today I am inspired to focus on hope and change coming into my life in a blessed way. Knowing that I deserve all that will come forth and to not fight it but to embrace it. Over the past years while desperately trying for my own children I have experienced pretty much all of my own friends creating their families and going to and giving more showers than I can count along with birthday parties, and even having the blessed experience of helping to bring some of the little munchkins into the world! It has been trying at times and testing but i have made it through and I pray that if I am somewhat distant at times that people don't take it personally. I am going to be so pumped with hormones and very busy with schedules that I forsee Mario and i being a little more self indulged in the upcoming months and I hope that my loved ones will understand it is about self preservation and nothing more! This day is extremely important in that if we do have children soon, our country has had a huge change and they will be affected by it. And I hope that all is positive and advantagous for my children as well as the future of this country. So tomorrow I have a dr. appoint for more blood work, an ultrasound and I am starting birth control. Then at night I am going to see James Van Praagh a medium with a very close friend of mine who recentlty lost her husband. I am a bit skeptical but hope that she gets some sort of comfort from it all.